When I thought of my 2025 running goals, I only had two things in mind. One, run an official full marathon and two, run 100 kilometers. Kili was too soon for me to do a full marathon (also, who accomplishes half of their resolutions in February? LOL) Stan-Chart on the other hand was too far, I mean why wait till close to end of the year to do it?
Nairobi City Marathon seemed like a perfect balance. Halfway through the year and held right in the city center. Its home, familiar and the course has been advertised as the fairest of all. I settled my mind to run a full marathon at NCM 2025 and run100km before end of the year.
Till then, the only goal I had was to seize all opportunities that I can to stay consistent and build endurance. I did group runs, a couple of ultras, many solo runs, many long walks, a few hikes bla bla bla. I felt like I was consistent and my body was getting used to longer movements, even craving it at times.
Then an iceberg hit the ship, and the seepage began. One day, one moment, something changed. I stopped dieting, stopped fasting, stopped caring about what and how I eat. I continued with movement but again, not as passionate as I was and more often than not, to counter my now poor eating habits.
Yes, something was happening in my life and I felt the loss of control over the situation day by day. I let go lots of things and stayed away. I spent more time in my bedroom than my living room, spent more time away than inside my house. I kept checking the calendar to see if the days were moving or just stood still.
Still, I knew I would do the full marathon at NCM. I registered early enough so that I wouldn’t talk myself out of it. May went by and June went by. My activities had begun to be less intense (apart from a few). My mood was non-chalant and my mind full of thoughts. My goal? Crush NCM.
July came by, in all of its cold glory. My mind was ready for NCM but I wasn’t sure of my body. In my own way, it was a freedom run. A symbolism to a certain end and a certain (re)start of my life and as if the universe conspired with me, 6/7/2025 was the first day I was exhaling in a while.
It was a fairly relaxed morning due to the late marathon start time. I boarded a matatu to CBD, alighted and did a fast walk to Uhuru Park. The people at the left luggage tent were helpful and encouraging. I dropped my bag for keeping and proceeded to the start line. The general mood felt good, the people were psyched, I met lots of Ubuntuz ready for the race. I felt pretty good that morning. Then it all begun.
I finished the first 5 km in 36 minutes. Not bad, I thought as it was kind of uphill and I didn’t push myself too much, which is good since the journey was still long. I geared up for the second 5km.The weather was chilly, occasionally crossing into and out of rain drizzles. The clouds were low, partially engulfing Nairobi skyscrapers as the rain kept teasing of a heavy downpour.
I didn’t want the rain but I was prepared for it in case it poured. However, that day, Gods hands were big enough to hold the rains throughout the race. I started seeing people on the other side of the road. They have already turned, I thought. No pressure, these are elites and the rest of the crazy guys who run the marathon in a relatively short time, right? I kept on going…. and going…. and going…. Hell, are we really going past Nairobi school?? To Kangemi?? I did not know this!!! Where the hell is that U-turn???
A few meters past Nairobi school we made the u turn and I knew the next one is JKIA. In my mind, it was downhill and I thought I would do better by crushing sub 35 minute 5ks until maybe 30kms.
I went as fast as I could, I never checked my pace or anything but went with how my body did. I can’t remember my 3rd 5k result but I think it was a sub 40. I continued pushing as the half marathon elites flew by me and after some time the half marathon fast runners also started flying by me. I recognized a few and I was happy for them. I kept going.
As I was overpassing CBD to continue onto Mombasa Road, I overheard them announcing the winner of the 2025 NCM Marathon. I checked my watch and it was 2.08 after start time. Usually, such things don’t mess with my head (or so I thought). But this time, this time, hell broke loose.
I was at17 km when I heard this announcement. I knew then that I am far off my 21km PR. For some reason, I became demotivated and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t performing as I thought I would. I felt like my body was shutting down, slowly by slowly. But I kept moving and getting nearer the diversion for 21km and 42km. I had a full blown conversation in my head on whether I should just quit and prepare for the next race.
Luckily, as I approached the diversion I hadn’t decided to quit yet and I went ahead towards JKIA. This, my friends, is where the loneliness began. I have attended many races and many group runs. I have been solo running and walking for as long as I can remember. I have always thrived in solitude. Being alone has never been a problem for me. I wondered then why this felt different, so alone in a race that attracts over 10,000 people. I would spot a few runners ahead of me, a few runners behind me and a few cyclists who would offer encouragement. The stretch from Southern bypass to JKIA was brutal to my mind. And apparently my body was on strike as I started registering over 40min 5ks. I felt every step of that stretch and I couldn’t wait to see that JKIA exit.
I soon made the u turn at JKIA and put my mind in Uhuru park. No retreat, no surrender. I felt less lonely in this stretch as I started overtaking some runners. It felt like a homestretch, relaxed in a way that I knew I am headed to the finish line. As at this time, I had done a couple of over 40 minute 5ks and I knew I had for sure ‘banted’. I made peace with it and focused on finishing. And the good thing about a homestretch, you are never alone.
I crossed the finish line with a stranger whose company I used for the last 5 kilometers. It was her first full marathon. I told her I am an ultra-runner and this is my first real full marathon. How did I like it?? Please, I’ll take the 70km again. I finished in one traumatized peace and had decided to never do a full marathon again and to boycott NCM. But after a few glasses of Mubabaz’ rattish, I decided I will do another full marathon. I don’t know when nor where, but I will do it again.
As the saying goes, we make plans and God laughs. I was hoping for a sub 5.30 marathon. I left with a 6.06 marathon. Sad for a moment, but grateful to have actually had the courage to do it. Above all, we brought our first full marathon medal home!!
See you on the next one.
With Love, Liz
Liz Mokamba 
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